Lavender Graduation Address for Commencement May 1, 2020

Who was your favorite cartoon character growing up?

My favorite characters were: Wonder Woman and the Wonder Twins—Jayna and Zan and their pet Gleek. They were a part of the Super Friends. The cartoon series ran from 1973-1985 and consisted of Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman and Aquaman in the beginning and went on to include more characters. The characters were based on the Justice League of America.

As a young child, I could not wait to watch the Super Friends every Saturday morning. The Super Friends fought for justice against villains trying to cause harm and menace to society.

When I think of the Super Friends, I think about the memories of my childhood. It is in my childhood where I began to notice who I was—my difference—and the difference between me and my siblings, other family members and friends. Observing these differences taught me how to see and to see what others saw as valuable and important. Yet, these observations also increasingly made me aware of what was special about me. I possessed things my siblings and others did not.  

The inner work started then. And as I speak to you today, I will frequently refer to inner work. This began the awakening source of my power—invisible power. I found a community of Super Friends on television and started the journey of finding them in my own life. As Super Friends we use our power in different ways for a common good and to fight injustice. So, what is this inner work?

In her essay “The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action,” the renowned writer Audre Lorde asks, “Are you doing your work”? And so, I ask you today, what is your work? How do you know what it is? Why this work?

In doing this work, you must find out for yourself, what is your calling? What is your passion? How does your passion align with your values? What do you value? What do you believe in? And why? Do not expect to benefit from other’s labor without doing the necessary work to understand who you are, our shared history, and how we came to be.

This work is invisible to the eye. This personal work, is the inner work necessary to shape the outer world.

As you do your personal work. What does your personal work look like? What is the personal work you have to do?

Selfies, instant fame, viral videos, the number of likes you accumulate on FaceBook and Instagram or the number of those following you on social media—is not inner work. Inner work does not require external approval. Inner work values a practice of self-reflection, silence and solitude. Inner work consists of the journey to your self-identity.

Do the inner work, the invisible work that others do not see, that then becomes visible in your mind and actions. No one can do this work for you.

Do the inner work that will not get you a pat on the back or open acknowledgement.

It is not to say open acknowledgement and recognition are not important; rather, it asks us something different. So much of the work we sometimes do is for external approval or validation.

Inner work requires a different focus, raises different questions about who we are and what our relationships look like and what our calling is.

Listen to your inner voice. In this moment of a global pandemic, use the time wisely to do the inner work.

Embrace stillness and silence—what arises in the silence? Listen.

Audre Lorde calls on us to give voice to what emerges in this silence. We know this because for some of us we’ve lived with a truth unknown to others, we’ve kept that inner truth—that work, self-awareness, self-reflection and journey away from public scrutiny, letting inner truth be our guide—our invisible power.

What is your relationship to yourself? When growing up how many times did you experience shame, stigma, marginalization, disappointment, fear and anger over things you knew to be true inside but afraid to speak out against? Do your inner work, the personal work of discovering your fears and confronting them.

If you are not doing your inner work, what other work do you expect to be doing?

Connect the inner work to outer work. Reach out and find your people—your Super Friends. I encourage you to develop relationships with elders in the LGBT community and wider.  Find your people who you can collectively call on—just like the Super Friends—at a moment’s notice ready to show up for you, share the joy and embrace each other in the struggle for a better future, not only for you, but for others that come after you. 

Respect your elders. See them and respect their contributions in the long struggle we enjoy today. We inherit the work of the elders and continue it.

I know the importance of building relationships with elders due to the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s and 1990s and the impact of this generational loss. As a part of generation X, I have many peers but very few elders who are friends and mentors.

You, however, are a new generation creating new futures, new histories and new legacies.

We have so much to be hopeful for with your contributions to making the world a better place.

In this moment we find ourselves with time to reflect, experience solitude, silence and stillness. When doing your inner work, a lifelong practice that we must return to, day after day, notice what you begin to see in yourself. When doing your inner work be sure to have your Super Friends join you on your journey. Perhaps notice what I call your X-ray vision—like Wonder Woman’s invisible jet and lasso. Your ability to see with X-ray vision the depths and contours that shape who you are and the world around us.

You have the power to change the world and shape the future with your actions by doing the necessary inner work joined by your Super Friends, and in the words of the show, “Dedicated to Truth, Justice and Peace for All Humankind.